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- I'm begging you to donate your goal jeans.
I'm begging you to donate your goal jeans.
Stuff you actually want to read about from Pam Moore
Content warning: disordered eatingHi ,In my closet, there used to be a selection of “goal clothes.” They included the Banana Republic button-down I splurged on while taking Percoset after eye surgery (read: I hadn’t had an appetite in over a week thanks to the meds) and wore once for a job interview, the fun 1950s style black and white dress I found at a boutique during that same not-so-great period in my life, and the adorable cotton Ann Taylor Loft red shorts that fit great while I was breastfeeding and for a brief period a few years later when I was in the habit of intermittent fasting (aka voluntary starvation.)Every time I tried those clothes on and they didn’t fit, I felt like a failure. I didn’t like how tight they were. I couldn’t move in them or take a deep breath in them, never mind eat a satisfying meal in them. I thought the problem was me. In fact, I was sure of it. [Cue Taylor Swift's Anti-Hero here.]I wasn’t disciplined enough. I hadn’t worked out long or hard enough, hadn’t eaten the right foods, had eaten too much of the wrong foods. In my mind, it was all proof that I was a disgusting slob and the only way to redeem myself was to keep doing what I was doing (attempting to micromanage the sh *it out of all my food and exercise), only I’d do it right this time. But the problem was never me. It was diet culture (and the clothes, obviously.) It was the idea that the shape and size of my body reflected my value. I was convinced that looking a certain way was a proxy for my worth as a human being. I was totally wrong. Our bodies actually have nothing to do with our worth. If you’re having trouble letting that really sink in, , it’s not because you’re a judgmental jerk, I promise. More likely, it’s because you grew up never seeing a fat character fall in love or save the day in a movie. You read articles that said to drink water when you were hungry or to munch on an apple instead of chocolate when you craved something sweet.You probably watched your peers make fun of the bigger kids in your class. Maybe you were the ringleader. Maybe you joined in. Or maybe you were the target. Wherever you stood, you probably noticed when none of the grown-ups stood up and said bodies come in all shapes and sizes. You noticed when no adults said this kind of bullying is never okay. It’s hard to unlearn all the stuff we thought we knew about bodies, food, and weight. But you know what’s (relatively) easy? Getting rid of clothes that don’t fit. (If that feels too bold, at least get them out of your closet.)One of my coaching clients said that as a frugal person, she felt bad about buying new clothes to replace the too-small ones. Here’s what I told her: Your new clothes count against your self-care budget, not your retail budget. If your minimalist values make it hard to bring yourself to spend money on new clothes, remember this: Purchasing clothes that allow you to freely laugh, breathe, eat, and just live your life without thinking about the way they dig into your flesh, is buying an experience, not a thing. When new clothes give you the freedom to just be in your body, shopping is an expression of self-care, not consumerism. If your budget is tight, consider holding a clothing swap among neighbors and friends or stretch your dollars by shopping at ThredUp (they have a nice return policy), your local Goodwill, or consignment shops.TLDR: Your clothes are supposed to fit your body, not the other way around. Life is too short and you have too many gifts to waste your precious time to hang your self-worth on whether you fit into your skinny jeans. xo,
P.S. If you need help shifting your mindset, I'd be honored to be part of your journey. Click here to find out how we can work together or just hit reply with any questions.
5 Things Worth Checking Out
If you have 50 minutes: I might have been violently nodding my head in my minivan while therapists Deb Rubin and Kate Kripke discussed motherhood and sexuality on the Motherhood Uncut podcast. The parallels between intuitive eating and sexuality (or discovering what lights you up, as they say) are many and powerful.
If you have two minutes: All the things I never say when I teach spin classes
If you need a really good book: Aubrey Gordon, co-host of the Maintenance Phase podcast, wrote a book that's part memoir, part non-fiction called "What We Don't Talk About When We Talk about Fat," and it's a powerful must-read for anyone who wants to know more what it's like to live in a fat body and why much of what we thought we knew about weight and health is wrong.
If you have 30 minutes: Intuitive eating is NOT the hunger/fullness diet. In a short solo episode of Real Fit, I dive into the first principle of Intuitive Eating (there are 10): Reject the Diet Mentality.
If you have an hour: I had the opportunity to talk about Intuitive Eating for runners on the Another Mother Runner podcast and it was delightful.
The Real Fit podcast features real conversations with women athletes on topics like body image and confidence, my goal is to share stories that will let you know you're not alone and that you're already enough. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and anywhere you listen to juicy podcasts. New episodes every other Tuesday.
Are you ready to heal your relationship with food and exercise?
I’m on a mission to help smart women like you stop wasting your precious energy on the quest to shrink your body. You were made to do amazing things and your obsession with food, exercise, and body image is a huge distraction.Together we can clear that mental clutter and turbocharge your path to being your best self.I'm a certified intuitive eating counselor, occupational therapist, and certified personal trainer and I offer 1:1 intuitive eating coaching services.
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