Want to feel better in your clothes?

In my closet, there used to be a selection of “goal clothes.”

Whenever I tried those jeans, blouses, and dresses, I didn’t like how tight they were. I couldn’t move freely, take a deep breath, or eat a satisfying meal in them.

I felt like a failure.

I thought I wasn’t disciplined enough. I believed I hadn’t worked out long or hard enough, hadn’t eaten the right foods, and had eaten too much of the wrong foods.

In my mind, it was all proof that I was a disgusting slob and the only way to redeem myself was to keep doing what I was doing (attempting to micromanage the sh *it out of all my food and exercise), only I’d do it right this time.

But the problem was never me. It was diet culture (and the clothes, obviously). It was the idea that the shape and size of my body reflected my value as a human being.

It took a long time for me to realize I was wrong.

Our bodies are not signifiers of our worth.

Thanks a lot, diet culture

If you’re having trouble letting that sink in, it’s not because you’re a judgmental jerk, I promise.

It’s because you grew up never seeing a fat character fall in love or save the day in a movie and because you grew up reading articles that said to drink water when you were hungry or choose an apple instead of chocolate when you craved something sweet.

Whether you watched your peers make fun of the bigger kids in your class, you joined in, or you were the target, you noticed when none of the grown-ups stood up and said bodies come in all shapes and sizes. You noticed when no adults said this kind of bullying is never okay.

It’s hard to unlearn what we thought we knew about bodies, food, and weight.

To unclutter your mind, start in your closet

But you know what’s easy? Getting rid of clothes that don’t fit. (And if that feels too bold, at least get them out of your closet.)

One of my coaching clients said that as a frugal person, she felt bad about buying new clothes to replace the too-small ones. Here’s what I told her: Your new clothes count against your self-care budget, not your retail budget.

If your minimalist values make it hard to bring yourself to spend money on new clothes, remember this: Purchasing clothes that allow you to freely laugh, breathe, eat, and just live your life without thinking about the way they dig into your flesh, is buying an experience, not a thing.

When new clothes give you the freedom to be comfortable in your body, shopping is an expression of self-care, not consumerism.

If your budget is tight, consider holding a clothing swap among neighbors and friends, or stretch your dollars by shopping at ThredUp (they have a nice return policy), your local Goodwill, or consignment shops.

TLDR: Your clothes are supposed to fit your body, not the other way around. Life is too short and you have too many gifts to waste your precious time to hang your self-worth on whether you fit into your skinny jeans.

xo,

PS If the idea of changing your mindset around food and your body among a supportive virtual community of like-minded women sounds good to you, get on my group coaching wait list and you’ll be the first to know when I offer a group program. (Details TBD. Stay tuned!)

Are you ready to stop stressing about food and exercise but aren’t sure how?

This is exactly what I help my 1:1 intuitive eating coaching clients with.

Let’s see if we’d be a good fit over a free, no-pressure 30-minute discovery call over Zoom or the phone.

👂 Give your ears a treat 👂

Need a good listen during your commute, chores, or workout?

Wondering who I am?

I’m a certified intuitive eating counselor, occupational therapist, and health and fitness journalist with bylines in outlets like The Washington Post, Time, Runner’s World, SELF, and many others.

Also a 6x marathoner, 2x Ironman finisher, and certified personal trainer with a 20+ year history of teaching indoor cycling, I love riding bikes (gravel and road) and weightlifting. My superpower is my ability to connect with people.

Check out my coaching offerings here and follow me on LinkedIn and Instagram.